December 12, 2017
Sunday last, Susie Greene sang posthumously, from the video screen: ‘God Is’.
Rev. John Waterhouse’ topic was ‘No Matter What’; how to expanded our consciousness, knowing where the presence of Spirit/God is, in the face of events inherent of judgment and blame. Spirit never abandons us. Ever. It is always present, right smack in the middle of the mind numbing whirlwind… No matter what shows ups. You think that’s easy? No Way! But it can be if we choose to consciously make it so (as Captain Piccard would say.)
This Tuesday morning, driving home from Trader Joes, Whole Foods and Aldi’s, most of the 12 inches of snow and ice had melted. The major roads were perfectly clear. Entering my community, the same was true, except for small mounds of iced snow on the edge of the road. Unconsciously I found myself guiding the right wheels of my Murano over the mounds, breaking them down so they would melt faster and wouldn’t freeze up again at night.
When I realized what I was doing, a flashback came to me: Where did I learn to do that? That question spun the wheel of history. The answer startled me. Well, not the answer, so much, but the thought that followed immediately… “Mark did that”. He is my wasband (not a type-o) of 22 years; abusive, discompassionate, unloving and everything I attracted, created and thought I deserved. Mark did that.
That marriage caused me immense wreckage, especially through our 3.5 year live in divorce. Twenty-two years in it and now, twenty-two years since, here I Am; breaking down the chunks of snowy ice on the path home. What a metaphor, huh? Here it comes — Get ready my soul! The words that followed were “I Love You Mark”. “Holy shit”, I said out loud. I haven’t said those words in relation to him in over 30 years or more. “I love you Mark, and thank you” [for helping me become who I am now]. I cried. Wept big crocodile tears. Carrying bundles of groceries up the flight of stairs, twice, I continued shedding tears. Proof reading this five times into the night, it’s still foreign to my ears, considering any former thoughts of him were ‘he’s taking up breathing space.’
The ironic part is… I had another thought a day or two ago, that maybe it would be nice to attract a partner into my life, dump the wreckage so I could attract someone I could lean on and express Big Love to, other than my cat.
God Is [Here]… No Matter What. Sunday’s Celebration of Life dug deeper into me than I ever imagined. A mighty healing filled an anguished hole. The remnants of ice and snow that stubbornly imbedded the walls of my heart and soul were gone. I was not aware they even existed. “I love you Mark.” Who’d have thought?
The ice and snow outside is still melting. They audibly flow in the drain pipes outside my window. Streams of melted frozen substance glisten on the blacktop… Emptying the past into a new future for the Greene – God Is – Waterhouse of unconditional, No Matter What Big Love. What could be better than that?
Thank you Susie Greene.
Thank you John Waterhouse.
And So IT IS.
GOD IS…Susie Greene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZlr__YJPps
AMAZING THINGS… Susie Greene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp4zH8v3tEU
NO MATTER WHAT… Reverend John Waterhouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxru3sjOoN0