JUST LET IT GO!

JUST LET IT GO”

“Let it go”It’s OK to let it go”

“It’s safe to let it go”

“Just let it go”

“Take a deep breath an
d blow it out”

Grab your wrist, squeeze 3 times and say PEACE”.

 

This is Fasletting-go-unlocks-potentialter-EFT. I diffuses the time bombs we carry around our entire life by tapping on to only 4 meridian points. It works with the subconscious mind dis-charge of raw emotions in the face of murderous anger brought on by our unknown stored
trauma buried deep within us… the stuff we never quite got to handle previously and WHAMMO! It could have been only one sentence another kid said to us when we were little, like, ‘you have such big ears no one will ever want to marry you!”.   And, at 42, this gorgeous female doctor wanted more than anything to attract her beloved and no matter she DID, he never showed up. Until one day, BAM! A little 9 year old boy, her BEST FRIEND, said that to her, she stuffed it, and never looked at it again. True story. Thank you August Gold! WHAM! AGAIN AND AGAIN AND THERE IT IS AGAIN. Looks different, even invisible. Sounds different. Not the same characters. But the PAIN is the same. The pulse pounding in the ears is the same…. WE CREATE OUR OWN REALITY.   That is the heinous faction of metaphysical philosophy… like…. What the fuck is wrong with me that this keeps showing up A G A I N ? ? ! OR NOT SHOWING UP AT ALL???!!!

 Facts tell stories sell. Here’s a little of both: There are 3 sisters.

Two younger sisters 15 months apart. The youngest one was not ‘planned’ and bang (literally) there she was and got most of the unrequited ballerina attention from the mother who wasn’t ‘expecting’ her… they shared a bedroom as children and later in life they shared a florida condo when the youngest’s husband turned out to be loser fraud.

Digression paints the story here… maybe women in general had absolutely no clue what birthing and raising children was about. In any way shape or form. My mother and ex-mother-in-law had the SAME birthday… November 13, with a major difference in that the ex made Alexis Carrington on Dynasty (1980s) look like Mother Teresa. A metaphysician like Wayne Dyer may claim that if I didn’t have it in myself I couldn’t recognize it in someo
ne else. Hell. I’M saying it, which merges with ‘we create our own reality’. Escaping it? No. Replacing it? Yes.

Since I am now chronologically a ‘senior’ woman, a lifetime in conflict with the two sisters was tangible. They were like the bobsey twins and I stuck out like a sore thumb. Truly. A L I F E T I M E of matured trauma and drama. Capricorn squared to my Aries. As mentioned, they are 15 months apart to my 4 and 6 years.

The youngest sister I labeled ‘Switzerland’ because she was always neutral, fair, in the middle of the righteous scripture spouting sibling and myself, who never fit into their individual or collaborative thinking apparatus, otherwise known as THE BOX. No ‘box’ ever had claims on me.  If a subject conflicted with a former idea, showed itself as an improvement, I shifted (see ‘STOP, STEP SHIFT essay on here). As a matter of fact, back in 2000, I belonged to a women’s circle on Long Island that grew continuously, where I was acknowledged as being ‘the most shift-able woman of the lot!’

Switzerland got tired of her go-between role as she matured. No matter how much they went at each other’s throat they always got back together. Like a bad marriage. Whenever they would fight, guess who got called for a sudden relationship and gripe session? Me. I was the third wheel, always the outsider. When they returned to their not so feathered nest, normalcy was revived. It was more symbiotic than anything else. The middle sister, a controlling, judgmental spinster Christian martyr (OK. She HAS gotten considerably more mellow with age), helped raise the 2 kids with the help of our dad in south Florida.
When those two were tight, I was the outsider. Totally ignored regardless of WHERE I lived. Unless there was war between them. My geology didn’t matter then. They conspired in vicious emails, mutually sliced and diced my neutral messages leaving me in such shreds I had to have counseling sessions with my pastor in Ft. Lauderdale, where we ALL lived, sans my ex husband and son, who remained in NY. I got to the point of deleting the emails before reading them. Switzerland bought into the lies about me by JudgeDred Christian. For decades. She recently apologized for believing her.

Perhaps they viewed me as the sister who had it all: College education, masters degree, national board art education certification (equivalent to a PhD), a husband, a house, a kid, a cat, 2 cars… all the 1980’s standards of middle class success. Well the husband went the way of EX (my doing – it was time to disconnect the abuse cycle but it was too late ). My sisters faulted me, my husband faulted me, my parents faulted me (during the marriage – they changed their tune when the divorce was announced)… so guess who else blamed me? I DID. ( No longer true, my son is still locked in as his father’s secondary abuse victim).

LETTING GO. I let go of the marriage. The ex never to this day was ever aware of his mental and emotional abuse toward us. I went through decades of healing and can honestly say, if my Faster-EFT facilitator tried to get me revved up to a 10 or higher emotional state, I wouldn’t be able to reach a 2 about the ex. Been there. Done that. OVER IT! After 20 years I met up with him face to face at our son’s wedding in 2014 and didn’t recognize him… he looked like my grandfather, so old.

Connection on Face Book became important to me as my vehicle. With that, ‘re-friending’ my sisters was next. Then friending Switzerland’s grown kids. The daughter was in a happy marriage after having a really rough childhood. She and her new husband were expecting a brother for her son and his daughter. I ‘liked’ all her posts, made joyous comments on every one. To me, that was reaching out, paying attention, showing excitement to someone I didn’t know, breaking the ice. Showing a ‘sign’. Becoming gradually visible, without fault. But there WAS history rooted deep from the days of old when I was being blamed for everything. My nieve grew up thinking I was nuts. Family came easily for them all. They always had one another. I never had them.

Two Sunday mornings ago I woke up and BAM! There on FB were a lot the niece’s baby shower pictures. They had a custom cake, decorations, food, friends… an intimate group with big smiles on their faces… and the two sisters, 15 months apart, arm in arm, on the shore in Alabama, where the middle sister drove from south Atlanta to get there… I wasn’t even TOLD ABOUT THIS EVENT. I was SLAYED! F U C K I N G SLAYED! It was Sunday. I wasn’t an emotional charge of 10. I was a 20! The next day I had a FASTER-EFT session and got considerably less charged, leaving The Question: Why the fuck wasn’t I told?

In between Sunday and Monday, I boldly messaged my niece asking WHY I wasn’t told about the shower. We wrote back and forth on FB messenger. I was very grateful for that. She eloquently expressed, saying ‘reaching out is calling, emailing, picking up the phone, writing a letter. You did none of that. We wanted to keep it close family and friends and you aren’t close”. I didn’t say I wanted to COME, just be TOLD. She was right though. I wasn’t close and I didn’t call. It was awkward never having been in relationship at all outside her infancy. I wasn’t even told about her wedding. Come to think of it AM I STUPID? My contact with her in social media was a BIG DEAL to me. A major step forward. To her it was frivolous and incidental. My niece has always lived very near her brother and mother (who always lived together and still do) most of her life. She had it all, has it all, very close to her and emotionally and geographically, always did. I never had them close in any regard; they were in south Florida with my parents while I lived a separated existence with an abusive husband on Long Island.

The excitement that ‘I caused’ around The Event (shower) upset Switzerland all day at work. She texted me to ask if we could ‘talk’ later. I said yes.   But she didn’t talk. She attacked, meaning well. Claiming I was on my computer 24/7 and needed to get out of the house and do other things. That I ‘hated’ the other sister. I sat silently and listened. Well, yes, I did need to get a life, but 24/7? Does that mean I have to leave my Mac and NOT design new logos and cards for friends with business start-ups I gift them? Or NOT disseminate correct awareness information and truth about global events and leadership shifts (a calling I have). When I mentioned my calling to her she brought up how ‘you always have one calling or another’. Leave my global source of communication and expression and travel business? What I do on there is valued all over the world. Just not THEIR Alabama existence.

Switzerland’s bottom line was this: ‘Do you want to have a relationship with me at this time?’ “I’ll have to think about it”. I did. I said NO. Not now. But I have been mellowing since then. WHAT PRICE WILL I HAVE TO PAY THIS TIME?

This last Sunday, a week after The Event surfaced on FB, driving past the cows in the pasture to my rural spiritual center, I listened to PNR Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. Norman Lear was on, about to turn 94 in a month. He was crystal clear, funny and exhibiting full memory recall. When he was asked what 2 words describe his fantastic philosophy on life that got him this far and clear he answered, “OVER and NEXT”.

“OVER means what’s over is over! LET IT GO! NEXT is what’s next? If you can put a hammock in between OVER and NEXT you have NOW. That’s where you get to create the NEXT”. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you Norman Lear. SHIFT TIME! My sisters. Can I actually put the past behind me? ALL MY SISTER SHIT? Could I LET IT GO? What would THAT look like? What would that FEEL like? This was HUGE.

Am I ready? We have nothing in common my sisters, niece and me.

N O T H I N G. Would it be worth the effort? Would it BE an effort?   Would it work?   Could I, Would I, L E T I T G O ???? 50 years of shit. S H I T ! ! ! ! ! !    

JUST LLetting-Go-Past-Wounds-1024x1024ET IT GO”


“Let it go”It’s OK to let it go”

 

“It’s safe to let it go”

 

“Just let it go”

 

“Take a deep breath and blow it out”

 

Grab your wrist, squeeze 3 times and say “PEACE”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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