GRATITUDE… ARMOUR

Gratitude… Amour

rel•ic rĕl′ĭk

n. Something that has survived the passage of time, especially an object or custom whose original culture has disappeared.
n. Something cherished for its age or historic interest.
n. An object kept for its association with the past; a memento.

It had been a few of years since participating in the Photo Circle, formed at my spiritual center CSL Asheville.  As a senior woman the ‘box of life’ kept shrinking around me (self imposed, of course).  The intention now was to ‘get back out there’.  Once a passionate photographer, the Photo Circle seemed the most logical place to do that:  A small, intimate group of like minded people. 

My Mac Book Pro already had a file of the Asheville Tobacco Barn from a previous group photo shoot.   So this time I was more interested to check out the merchandise than shooting pictures.   My Nikon remained in the closet with cob webs.  All I had on me was my iPhone with it’s instantly accessible camera.  As I began the ins and outs of each vendor’s stall of goods, my hand grabbed the iPhone touching the camera icon and I began to shoot.  Here is the sequence of conscious action that blossomed from that point…. Adele sings “A Million Years”, reminiscent of Roy Clarke’s ‘Yesterday When I Was Young’.

“The photo circle went to the Asheville Antique TOBACCO BARN (once used to hang and dry freshly cut tobacco) to take pictures.  I had no intention of shooting and hadn’t been there is over 3 years ( bought many things there when I moved to Asheville). I wanted to see what treasures they had now.

But my iPhone camera found its way into my hands… clicking away, as i saw objects that called to be captured. 56 pictures later, retouched in Lightroom, I created a slide show* (selecting out the best ones) for the morning of our photo circle meeting Thursday, the day before Valentine’s Day.

Looking for an instrumental musical background I focused on the time frame of each track.  The one at 3:48 caught my attention; no artist name was listed.  The mouse cursor clicked and played, hearing it for the first time. I was struck with emotion and cried.  It told a human story that fit with my photographs and the objects in the Tobacco Barn.   The thought never occurred to me about the invisible history of every item in there. 

I was reminded of a Little House on the Prairie episode:  The opening scene was a 20th century furniture auction.  Charles Ingles bureau was on the block.  The rest of the story unfolded with him building the piece many decades ago.  It’s the only episode I remember, paving the path to this project, here and now.  Who knew?

This antique barn is filled with treasures left over from people’s lives: People who have moved on, have died, have replaced old things with new… it was their legacy, now for sale, history unknown. The lyrics* of this song gives them life… it’s their story: The people and the things they loved.

I linked the song with the pictures, ran it and I cried again. Being at this stage in my life, when, at any moment, all the things surrounding me as I type this, could be what I leave behind, for others to buy, to have, to keep in remembrance of me and to leave them behind once more…

Please listen to the words as they are sung. Listen to the message and see how it tells the story of what we leave behind, what we miss, what we may have done differently before we leave this earth plane, leaving behind the people and the things we loved.

Sometimes regrets are really Love in disguise. If all there is is LOVE 💕 , then that’s what regrets turn out to be… THE LOVE we just didn’t recognize at the time. Everything becomes clearer with hind sight. Could regret, on a deeper level than blame, be healing? 

Gratitude comes in all diverse shades of emotion and healing presence.  Amour is the last photograph, with transparent glass hearts of clarity.  Amour is Regret transformed into endless Love.”

*Slideshow does not work on this theme anymore

 

 

 

A MILLION YEARS AGO

I only wanted to have fun
Learning to fly learning to run
I let my heart decide the way
When I was young

Deep down I must have always known
That this would be inevitable
To earn my stripes I’d have to pay
And bare my soul

I know I’m not the only one
Who regrets the things they’ve done
Sometimes I just feel it’s only me
Who can’t stand in reflection that they see
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry

I miss the air
I miss my friends
I miss my mother
I miss it when

Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago

When I walk around all of the streets
Where I grew up and found my feet
They can’t look me in the eye
It’s like they scared of me

I tried to think of things to say
Like a joke or a memory
But they don’t recognize me now
In the light of day.

I know I’m not the only one
Who regrets the things they’ve done
Sometimes I just feel it’s only me
Who never became who they thought they’d be
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry

I miss the air
I miss my friends
I miss my mother
I miss it when,

Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago

 

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